Corvette versus the View

First off, let me say this post has zero to do with Chevrolets or Baba Wawa TV shows. Months ago I mentioned that one of my favorite Pixar movies of all time was CARS. I love it, everything about it. The story, the animation, the actor's voices, the details and of course, the moral of the story.




This mention concerned Lightning McQueen and Sally Carerra up Wheel Well and he'd asked her how she came to be in Radiator Springs and she said drove and drove and drove, broke down, Doc and Flo took me in, but then she stayed because she fell in love. He sadly asks, "Oh. A Corvette?" and she said, "No, the view" and they cruise over to the edge of the parking lot and looked out and over the view, that is best be described as magnificent in grandeur.


Now that my lengthy intro has bored folks, me included, into a sense of Oh for godssakes, I will get to the point of this post. It is about Match dot com or Plenty of Fish. It is about enjoying the view from where you are or trying to find that elusive Vette.


My sister was nagging me to join Match dot com and meet some guys. Her rationalization for this ran along the old you work the worst hours, how are you ever gonna meet anyone anyhow and besides it was free. First came Match dot com. I was spammed one of their emails and it said free so I said what the hey. I filled out 80 percent of the application and when it came time to submit the written essay of what I was seeking, I had timed out and was punted offline. Well. That oughta mean something eh?



I didn't save my written essay because I suppose I was not serious about submitting it. The whole free thing was supposed to last 14 trial days after which you could join their club and pay to meet people. Well, a funny thing happened. It turns out that since I was on the free trial program they still sent me prospective matches. On occasion it will be asked to finish filling out my profile but if and when I do, it'll spam me to start joining within those 14 days and so far, I haven't really seen anyone I like enough to contact.



Good Lord. Are men that f'd up?



Let me site a few examples. Some men like women who have long hair, are slender, love skinny dipping and PDAs. Most of these guys are bald, fat and you wouldn't want to be caught dead naked outside with them. Guys don't like sarcastic women but then go on to say sarcastic things that would drive a woman with a half a brain to not give them a second glance. I love the guys who value honesty but don't say what they do, how old they are or whether ot not they are religious.



Then there are the posers. The guys who are in their mid-forties to mid-fities who all have photos of their cars, their boats and hello, their fucking motorcycles. Someday I will write the story of my ex-husband and his motorcycles. Let me just say, at this time, I hope he owns one now. I hope he rides it everyday. I hope it brings a joy into his life that no one else can replace.



My other main beef with the POF way of meeting people is the acceptable deception. Most of the guys I have seen say they are athletic and toned. At our age, this is wishful thinking. A guy with man boobs is not toned. A guy with a beer gut is not athletic. If his arms sag around the shoulders, he is not buff. If has grown one of those stupid goatees that has been closely clipped to resemble vagina hair on a porn star, he is not fooling anyone except himself. All women KNOW this is a lame ass method for disguising his double chin.


I am five foot six and weigh 150 lbs. I am 38-30-38. My inseam is 32, my cup size is DD, my shoe is a seven and I work out four times a week. I could kick the living shit out of half the men I see on Match dot com. I will never run out of gray hair and it will never be long. I won't pierce my clit to get a date. I am not that hard up.



I don't need a Vette, I am a Vette. The men who've passed over my profile are probably the shallow ones I wouldn't want anyway. The ones who are looking are not very attractive, and I mean this from the inside out. I don't discriminate on looks but brains are another matter. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be shallow, ugly and stupid.