In the middle of last week I found out that Blake Shelton was going to be in the Southern California area playing three gigs this week. This was good for soooo many reasons, let me count the ways.He usually plays back east or in the midwest. He's from Oklahoma and Nashville. He does fairs, casinos, the places I seldom frequent.
He was playing for three days straight, one of which I did not have to work the day after. This never happens. I work 0300 to 1200 and I can't pull all nighters at this job the way I used to do when I was younger at jobs that didn't mean shit to me. I tried this at a BB King, Al Green and Etta James concert last September and my gawd, I was like the walking dead the next day.
I discovered Blake Shelton at work. My co-workers play the radio LOUD at night. One guy listens to heavy metal, another guy likes rock, another is a country-western maniac. Country-western is the boss boss, so we listen to his station the most. One night about six months ago, "The More I Drink" came on and oooh la la, I was in love. That song is so catchy and easy to like. Nevermind that the more I drink, the more I drink. Really, really. Days later another cool song comes on, turns out that is Blake Shelton too. Same thing happens a week later. Man, this Shelton is all over the radio waves.
So, like a good little sister I call my big sister M, she's the country expert in our family.
"Hey girlie."
"Hiya! What's going on?"
"You ever hear of Blake Shelton?"
"Hell yeah, he's awesome. I have all his CDs."
"BITCH!"
At this point she giggles because she knows when I call someone a bitch it's because I am jealous of them. It isn't a personal attack. It's an endearment of the gangster variety.
"He's one taaaaa-aaall drink o'water. He makes me thirsty!"
"He is?"
"Hell yeah. He's gotta be 6'4" easy. Closer to 6'6" in cowboy boots. I liked him better with long hair."
"He had long hair?"
"Come over. Let's do some Blake."
So I went. We listened. I was smitten. I bought his CD Pure BS on the way home. When I got here I Googled him. God did good. Blake is a tall drink of water. Not only does he have talent from here to South America, he has dimples, a killer smile, a wicked sense of humor and a bod that makes my panties damp. Okay. That's an exaggeration but still, he's smoking hot.
Anyway that is how I came to know about and like Blake Shelton. Onward.
So, three dates, Wednesday the 20th at the House of Blues in West Hollywood. This works. I have Thursday off. House of Blues is closer than the Fourth and B in San Diego or the Santa Clarita Center for Performing Arts. I get a big plan, blast off an email and make the call Friday night.
"Hey. Did you get my email? Blake Shelton is playing next Weds in Hollywood, wanna go for your birthday?!! It'll be great!"
"Not really. It's too far and we'd never make it in time.We'd miss the show."
The doors open at 7:30p.m and the show starts at 8:30p.m. and I know it'll take an easy two hours to get there through traffic but goodness sakes, she's salary!! She could leave early IF she WANTED TO!
Ugh. Okay. Truth is I was trying to kill three birds with one stone. I wanna see Blake, it was her birthday but my car Betty is in bad shape and I wanted sister M to drive. She LOVES to drive. She never lets me drive her anywhere, ever! Betty has a misfiring number two cylinder and needs some TLC.
At this point I want to drive my scarey car, go alone if I have to. I am fearless. But it gets worse.The new work schedules come out on Fridays at 1pm, but I depart at 1200 so I don't see that I am actually on the schedule for the Thursday following the HOB gig until I arrive to work on Sat. Shit!
There is no way to make this long story short. Monday night I was still looking at tickets online. I was broke but didn't care. I was determined to go. For gawdsakes, Blake is here, in town!! I found someone who'd go with me, maybe drive. It's only $50! and if I have to buy two tickets, dammit I will! But he didn't call on Tuesday to confirm, that bastard. By Tuesday there was only SRO tix available. I was still wanting to go but Wednesday after work, it then started to rain. Hard. Oh for fuck's sake!
Let's add this up - major cash shortage, scarey running car, no solid tickets, SRO at the door if I was lucky, no one to go with me, drive alone on a worknight where I have to be at work the next morning at 3am, through two hours of gridlock, maybe both ways, on no sleep because I worked 3-12 Tueday night, in the pouring rain.....
I once hitchhiked to Las Vegas with ten bucks wearing just a bikini. I had a ball. I miss the old days.
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